pillow thoughts and creations

the never ending job applications

Dear Sir/Madam.

I am great and fantastic. I am actually magical. Im loosing my soul and need employment and would like to enquire of any available. I somehow can twist every scenario of any previous work I have ever had and say I have experience in what ever it is you have listed in job requirements. For example I was a cleaner once where I gained valuable experience of performing life saving operations.. the details of which I do not refer.. The life saving operation was removing the beetle from inside before he died. thats life saving right? I can talk myself up to be the most wonderful person that ever existed. I’m hardworking, even though I don’t work.. I some how am.

I can write the the most impressive cliche cover letter you ever have seen of being great at working as part of a team or on my own. I work well under my own initative…  I can write that because theres no way of prooving it so therefore there really is no point in writing it..but I will anyway. I can bring something valuable and new to your business.. I’m not sure what that is yet but if I get to interview I hope I’ll have made something up by then. I have a great interest in the money you can give me because I’m broke.. I mean to say I have a great interest in your companys endevours and share its values..

Dont hesitate to conatct me with any further question you have..but please dont ask a detailed one about anything on my c.v beacause I probably wont know even though I studied for four years and have a honours degree. I can tell you one thing, I may not have enough experience in many things but I have a Masters in Bullshit.

Yours sincerley, but not really

Pillow Thoughts